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I’ve been told that I’m hard to read. I agree. It’s hard to tell what I’m thinking or predict what outlandish thought may develop in my head and exit through my mouth. Yes, I’m unpredictable, so what? Of course, that’s so much easier for me to say today than it was back in my elementary school and high school days.

Back then, I was quiet and held back on a lot of my thoughts. Why? Because when I did speak up, no one truly understood my words. As a result of them misunderstanding me, my thoughts were immediately classified as disrespectful or mean.

A good example would be when I stood up in the middle of class and yelled across the room at my 7th grade teacher who found the need to tell me my interpretation to a story she assigned us to read was wrong. At that moment, all I could think was, “What gives her the power to be right and make me wrong about my opinion?”

It was just like that time on Sway’s morning radio show when Kanye West yelled, “You ain’t got the answers!”

You see, when you’re passionate about your feelings, and are frustrated with others misunderstanding who you are, it will build up inside of you. Then one day, it will manifest through a major action, and people will judge you again, based on that one big action. We can get deeper into that another time, but I’m sure you get where I’m going. If you don’t…just turn on the news, and then read my statement again. Here, let me help you out by saying it again:

When you’re passionate about your feelings, and are frustrated with others misunderstanding who you are, it will build up inside of you. Then one day, it will manifest through a major action, and people will judge you again, based on that one big action.

You see, the best way for me to express myself has always been writing. Mainly because I didn’t have to deal with direct judgement and people’s confusion about what I was trying to say. Everything made complete sense when I wrote it. I’ve written letters to physicians who said I inspired them. I’ve landed great jobs because of my writing. I’ve won awards and have gotten accepted into great schools because of my writing. But I’ve always asked myself, how can go beyond that?

Many people may be wondering why I am going through all this – blogging, explaining who I am, etc. – as opposed to just going to get my now completed manuscript published and selling the damn book already! This project is the reason for my existence. I say project because the book is just a tiny aspect of my vision.

This project gives me life, and I know it will give life to others. It goes beyond getting published. I view the exchange as a heart transplant. As research explains, a heart transplant is not necessarily a cure for heart disease but a treatment that can improve the quality of life for its recipient. I’m not claiming my written words to be 100% perfect and healing of what’s broken, but I am most certain that they will improve the quality of life for their recipients.

WHO AM I? I am a heart surgeon, and before I go out into the world performing operations, I must make sure people know WHO I AM through my words.

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