The title Bronx SHēk (pronunciation of ‘chic’ not to be confused with ‘chick’) was inspired by a moment that occurred just a couple months ago, when a guy questioned my “Bronx Chickness.” I guess he was accentuating I was fake; because of how I was raised and how I moved, and made decisions. In other words, I was born in the Bronx but my mannerisms didn’t fit the role.

He said to me, “I need me a REAL Bronx chick” At the time I was so distracted by not fitting into his standards of a “real chick” that I didn’t even realize how stereotypical his standards were.

Granted, there are some things I’m still learning as a woman. But how does me being a real woman have anything to do with where I was born and raised? So because my father moved me out of the Bronx and raised me elsewhere I don’t fit the role of a real Bronx chick? What does that even mean?

Fast forward, weeks later, I was brainstorming for my second Creative LLC’s Paint & Play spoken word piece at Apostrophe Lounge, and for some reason, that moment came back to me. Everything I didn’t say to him overflowed and the contractions of birthing Bronx SHēk began. It created an indescribable roller coaster of sad, angry, positive, kiss-my-ass emotions.

https://youtu.be/FcHJ96XV2gk

Ladies!

Let’s do those out there, who are dividing us by putting us into stereotypical categories to fulfill their insecurities a good service. Let’s come together and make this world better for the future, our children. Let’s show them that we are more than our hood (where we were born) and some. Yes, we may rock name brands, but they do not define us.

Let’s not get so distracted by money and possessions that we become blind to what’s happening around us. Let’s start embracing our own swag and stop trying to copy the swag of another for the sake of “fitting in.”

Let’s put all that we have learned into a pot and brew something uniquely strong, elegant, and  beautiful. I’m here to tell you, you are NOT just a chick from Baltimore. You are NOT just a chick from Bokoro or San Juan. You are NOT just a chick from the Bronx.

You are Baltimore SHēk.

You are Bokoro SHēk.

You are San Juan SHēk.

You are Bronx SHēk.

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chic

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Is an Igbo proverb my father taught me that his mother would say to him. What’s interesting about Igbo proverbs and stories is that they can have various meanings. This proverb literally means ‘take your eye’ however it also means:

• “Ensure your eyes are open”
• “Remain alert”
• “Be mindful”

Now why would I say remain alert and be mindful, then put the words “Black Power” after it? Here’s another question, how many Africans do you see from Africa walking around in colorful dashikis yelling “Black Power!” and proclaiming how “black” they are? Better yet how many Africans from Africa are on social media ranting about their mistreatment from someone of another race or ethnicity? Now please do not misinterpret what I’m saying here. The black power movement that occurred in 1950s and early 1960s was something in a way I wish I could have experienced and has paved the way for us, especially the Black Panthers. The movement was a true reflection of how powerful we are. Today it’s like the term ‘black’ has become just something to say. I’m guilty of it myself at times, which is why I wrote this blog post.

And now that I am thinking about it, I realize since birth I have never heard my father, uncles, aunts, or even grandparents say or mention “Black Power”. Their walk is power; Their accent. Their language. Their mentality. The way they teach us (children). The stories they tell. The proverbs they pass down. Now I have heard my father say, “People judge me initially but once I speak and they hear my accent their demeanor changes. They become respectful–they get friendly.” My father has also said to me, “Black says nothing about you. Not even “African American” says anything about you. You are Nigerian American.”

Africa is a continent, full fifty-four countries, from Algeria to Zimbabwe, languages, beliefs, foods, principles, proverbs, cultures, style of clothing, etc. According to my father the dashiki that African Americans wear, relates to a group of people in Nigeria called the Hausa people. Wikipedia explains the word dashiki further. The name dashiki is derived from the Hausa word ʼdan ciki, which means shirt.

This spiked my curiosity and I immediately wanted to dig deeper into the various styles of traditional Hausa attire. A popular style worn by Traditional Hausa-Fulani is very long and the sleeves are loose and kind of cut off.

Am I against dashikis?

No, they are beautiful. Have I ever worn one? No. Will I ever wear one? Probably not. What I will surely wear is my Igbo Nigerian traditional attire that will or has been specially designed for me by my aunt who sews, or a professional Nigerian tailor.

My point in all this is let’s open our eyes so we can see the African culture for what it truly is. Just because we wear a dashiki or in proper terms a dan ciki doesn’t make us more or less powerful. Let’s not get caught up in the hype of the “Black Power” business (believe it or not it is a business) so much so that we drift away from our true roots. Remember being African or of African descent is about knowledge, strength, values, and culture. That is our true power. Many African Americans who are going hard for Africa can’t name up to ten countries in Africa. Many Americans going hard for “Black Power” are still calling Africa a country.

As my grandmother told my father and my father told me…

 Kpachara anya gi . 

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I’ve watched closely the eyes of men I’ve dated. In just one blink, they’ve undressed another woman in public, right in front of me. Yes, there’s sex in their eyes and it happens very quick. I haven’t really used my sex power to its greatest ability. I’ve experimented with it a little, however, I haven’t gotten the opportunity to see all aspects of my sex magic. I’ve witnessed what it can do. It appears it’s gotten stronger, based on the reaction of the selected few that it’s been tested on.

Ladies, do yourself a favor, let no one tell you that your sex isn’t powerful. Don’t ever think that because you had sex with someone you are the weak link, and they are the superior. You did not give up anything — well unless you tell yourself you did. I say you tell yourself you had a damn good time and learned how to make that power even powerful. You gained knowledge, and this may sound cliche, but knowledge is power. I will say this again and again: we have control over our lives. Our steps are ours. Our decisions are ours. Own them. All we need to do is check them off our life’s ‘been there done that what’s next’ list.

I’ve encountered men who have pretended to care about me for a small part of my power. I’ve tested the waters to see if perhaps sex is all they wanted and if there were any emotions involved. Did they really care, or did they beg like a dog to get a slither of bacon? How we so easily get our panties in a bunch over that single thought. Well let’s un-bunch those panties.

Open our eyes to the bigger picture. The foreplay, the climax, what a great feeling. Enjoy the motions of the ocean. Learn, grow, and be the best person you can be.

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