Prelude…

It is no coincidence that the essence of my warrior colors landed on the shoulder of the Soul Survivor Writer.

It is no coincidence that she is a woman, for it is from a woman’s womb that I was born. It is a woman’s voice that I hear speak my thoughts, the beautiful queens that always surrounded me.

I pass this message on through them, through her, to you, with love.

Live your best life and like me, take advantage of every opportunity.

How do I explain my journey?

Numbers may be the best way I know, so be patient as I plant the seeds that will help you all blossom and grow.

GOD’s math has a pre-destined path. The reason why you should be happy and not sad:

The post “Deion” appeared first on Linda Orji Creative Universe.

“Oh hell naw, what you think you gonna out love me? BOOM! Two text message loads-what you got to say about that?”

I had nothing. Even if I did, God forbid I tried, my phone would explode and blow up hearts and rose petals. What’s funny is that in my mind I’m like Oh you fancy, huh? You wasn’t shooting out the rose emoji last week, when you needed help turning your phone on! 

Nothing like a mother’s love, that’s the truth. Moms will make sure you can hear them through text message. Like they will text out the phrase how they say it so you can hear it loud and clear. And if you don’t acknowledge that you heard her through the text, then she will say it again. Not only that but they are so skilled with it sending long messages that even when it’s short it’s still long. Y’all think I’m playing? This is what my mom sent weeks back via Facebook Messenger:

If you are wondering what ‘Shadaboca’ is, it’s my mother speaking in tongues. Peep how she said it again. And what was my response? Exactly. I’m no fool. When she speaks in tongues she’s deep with it. So that ‘Shadaboco’ message is really twenty messages in one and she said it twice so that’s forty messages, easy. Mothers claim they don’t know how to do stuff but they know exactly what they’re doing. Keeping us in check on the low-low.

I share this to say, appreciate all the little annoying loving things a mother does. Hold them close. Nothing like a mother’s love, especially her SMS ❤.

The post A Mother’s SMS ❤ appeared first on Linda Orji Creative Universe.

I’ve been told that I’m hard to read. I agree. It’s hard to tell what I’m thinking or predict what outlandish thought may develop in my head and exit through my mouth. Yes, I’m unpredictable, so what? Of course, that’s so much easier for me to say today than it was back in my elementary school and high school days.

Back then, I was quiet and held back on a lot of my thoughts. Why? Because when I did speak up, no one truly understood my words. As a result of them misunderstanding me, my thoughts were immediately classified as disrespectful or mean.

A good example would be when I stood up in the middle of class and yelled across the room at my 7th grade teacher who found the need to tell me my interpretation to a story she assigned us to read was wrong. At that moment, all I could think was, “What gives her the power to be right and make me wrong about my opinion?”

It was just like that time on Sway’s morning radio show when Kanye West yelled, “You ain’t got the answers!”

You see, when you’re passionate about your feelings, and are frustrated with others misunderstanding who you are, it will build up inside of you. Then one day, it will manifest through a major action, and people will judge you again, based on that one big action. We can get deeper into that another time, but I’m sure you get where I’m going. If you don’t…just turn on the news, and then read my statement again. Here, let me help you out by saying it again:

When you’re passionate about your feelings, and are frustrated with others misunderstanding who you are, it will build up inside of you. Then one day, it will manifest through a major action, and people will judge you again, based on that one big action.

You see, the best way for me to express myself has always been writing. Mainly because I didn’t have to deal with direct judgement and people’s confusion about what I was trying to say. Everything made complete sense when I wrote it. I’ve written letters to physicians who said I inspired them. I’ve landed great jobs because of my writing. I’ve won awards and have gotten accepted into great schools because of my writing. But I’ve always asked myself, how can go beyond that?

Many people may be wondering why I am going through all this – blogging, explaining who I am, etc. – as opposed to just going to get my now completed manuscript published and selling the damn book already! This project is the reason for my existence. I say project because the book is just a tiny aspect of my vision.

This project gives me life, and I know it will give life to others. It goes beyond getting published. I view the exchange as a heart transplant. As research explains, a heart transplant is not necessarily a cure for heart disease but a treatment that can improve the quality of life for its recipient. I’m not claiming my written words to be 100% perfect and healing of what’s broken, but I am most certain that they will improve the quality of life for their recipients.

WHO AM I? I am a heart surgeon, and before I go out into the world performing operations, I must make sure people know WHO I AM through my words.

The post Who am I? appeared first on Linda Orji Creative Universe.

After all you put me through,
I had your back.
I held you down
Through ALL the years you crept around.

But it was my time
to leave…
and go elsewhere and set myself FREE.

See, I was locked down and I was hurt’n
And I needed to lift my burden.

F-R- double E
Spells FREE, that’s me.
Yea, it feels good to be FREE.
So free indeed
I can soar my wings and fly,
Over the oceans and through the sky.

I just wanted you to see, the genuine person in me;
The love I had to give
And the happy life I wanted us to live.

Rememba the nights I stayed up for you;
Rememba the days I said you’ll make it through;
Rememba the hours you didn’t know what to do.
I told you “Hold on!
Be strong!
It’s just a season,
And everything happens for a reason.”

F-R- double E
Spells FREE, that’s me.
Yea, it feels good to be FREE.
So free indeed
I can soar my wings and fly,
Over the oceans and through the sky.

The post F-R-E-E appeared first on Linda Orji Creative Universe.

Hoping this is not some type of typical guy 3-month fad.

Don’t want to do anything to push him away…

Want to make sure I’m there for him to listen to every word he has to say.

Deep down inside, I question whether I should continue on this ride…

And push on through this journey with a confident stride.

I blame it all on my past and the mess I went through the 2 years before last.

The neglect, the abuse, making me feel like my words and thoughts were of no use.

My life was purposeless, value was worthless.

Was his queen in private, but was a stranger in public.

Used for intimacy in private, but was invisible in public.

Caressed and “loved” in private, but yelled at and dissed in public.

Tormented by looks of disgust from rumors he spread,

Walking down the hall hearing all the foul things he said.

Remembering when I went to lie down and found another chick’s underwear in the bed.

Remembering what he said…

Remembering after the blows how I bled.

Remembering the way I laid my head,

So he wouldn’t see me cry.

Knowing every word he said was a bold face lie.

I was too blind to see what this was all doing to me.

Why couldn’t I pull together my little strength and flee?

They say I’m a spitting image of my mother and imitate her like no other.

When things got tough she loved,

When she hurt she loved,

When she fought she still loved.

As for me, in my times I did all of the above.

So I stayed and endured the pain —

Even if that meant sleeping outside on benches in the rain.

I was afraid — cried in closets for days —

Thought of ending my life in so many ways.

I wasn’t good enough, wasn’t pretty enough,

Wasn’t smart enough, wasn’t classy enough.

Wasn’t this, wasn’t that — but he did notice one thing…

When I was getting too fat.

So four years have past.

And I no longer have to go through the mess I went through the 2 years before last.

I found the courage to flee

And do whatever I can to be the best I can be

Without changing any part of me.

Can only hope and pray that the NEW HE

Can have patience with me, come to me willingly

And see the best in me.

Walking with me side by side on this journey

Of setting myself free

From the bad memories of the past and bruises of he-Captivity.

…TO BE CONTINUED

…CONTINUED

So beside me is the NEW HE

only to allow it to be

Quite a challenging journey

of HE and ME.

Too blind to see

that I could only be Freeif I allowed myself to be..

So to keep myself sane and maintain, I learn how to cope with a unique pain.

A different pain, a happy get up and go make something of yaself pain.

A why hold ya head to strain-be independent and maintain pain.

An I am here for a reason we all go through seasons pain.

A mistakes are made but our life we cannot trade

so don’t shy in the dark to fade but commit to a personal upgrade pain.

A today I commit to no longer stray from the hand that drew my path

from the foot that made my prints from the eyes that see my future pain.

A right now I humble myself to look back and see that it was not me but HE (My God) that allowed it to be and as His daughter I will obey willingly….pain.

A remember to allow HIM to lead b/c alone with our blinded eyes we

will never succeed no matter how good the deed we will never be free

but…

forever and always we will see and be in love with…

Captivity

The post The Love of Captivity appeared first on Linda Orji Creative Universe.

Her body is a jewel.

She’s a queen.

Her walk is hella mean.

But when her girls find out her secret

She develops low self-esteem.

They ask why…

Liz: Why you ain’t let him hit it? If I was you, I would’ve been did it?

Mya: Why you waiting til marriage?

Tish: (Laughing) Why — you afraid if you do something you gon get stuck pushing a carriage?

Damn, girl, you don’t know what you missin, just so u know we advisin’ we ain’t dissin’.”

Liz: You need some adventure in your life, you ain’t gotta wait until you become his wife.

Tish: You already been with 1 guy, give a couple others a try.

She sits back and takes a long sigh.

Wondering how they find pleasure in giving their precious bodies to more than 1 guy.

She gazes into the sky as a couple years pass by…

It’s ladies night out…

They all seem to be putting on a pout.

She listens to hear what they’re raving and carrying on about …

Their miserable relationships,

Crying about their love life with their hands on their hips.

Tisha is on her 7th kid,

But she’s going on about what her 5th baby’s daddy did.

Mya can’t seem to find that fire,

The passion — that feeling of REAL love and desire.

Liz just doesn’t think there is such a thing as a good man —

Her dude gave her an STD and ran.

Liz: I don’t know what to do. Hey, chick, u sittn’ over there quiet as hell. What you got to tell?

She takes a long sip of her champagne before she works her way in…

“Well, what do I know. My man and I are 10 years strong.”

They all gasp and one asks,

“Damn, girl, what you doing for him to hold on that long?”

She replies, “Everything y’all been there and done… and sum.

Actually, it’s about that time gotta jet,

We ain’t finish “blessn” every room in the house yet.

Think tonight is the kitchen…

O and just so u know b/f hand, I’m just advisin’ I’m not dissin’…

My man tells me everyday my body is precious.

He has pride in wearing me as his jewel and says I’m his Nubian queen.”

As she walks away one of the girls say, “I wonder what her secret is, Liz?”

Liz: What, u slow u didn’t get the message? –Everything we did and sum. What, you dumb? Basically she’s saying we reap what we sow.

Mya: In simpler terms: you’re a hoe!

Tisha: Oh.

Liz: She’s saying we need to treat ourselves the way we want to be treated.

If we respect ourselves first. The men we attract won’t treat us like dirt.

And we wouldn’t be here crying our eyes out bout how much we hurt.

We lacked self-respect.

As a result we received heartache and neglect.

As they were leavn, Mya said, “Did u see the way she walked off the scene?”

Tisha: Yea, her walk is hella mean.

The post Her Precious Body appeared first on Linda Orji Creative Universe.

My teeth alignment is crooked from when I sucked my thumb as a child. I had a complex when I smiled. At one point, I was contemplating getting Invisalign, but I figured I’d join J. Cole and keep my twisted grill, just to show the kids it’s real. I ain’t picture perfect, but I’m worth a picture still.

I’m not a size 2 or 3, or 4, or 5; not even 6 or 7. I have dimples in my thighs and ass. I don’t have hair down to my back. It’s kinky; no such thing as a messy bun, messy Afro – maybe. I have bumps and scars on my arms and legs…

Speaking of legs, I had to wear leg braces as a child because my feet were so dramatically inward, aka, ‘pigeon toed.’ As a result, my strut in heels isn’t too appealing. Neither are my feet. I run a lot.

Speaking of feet, mine are pretty big-sized, 10 to be exact…

Speaking of big, my hands are big, too. The skin on my palms is very rough. I get embarrassed when I have to shake hands with someone…

Speaking of embarrassed, I sweat a lot, especially when I’m nervous. I get even more nervous when I have to calculate numbers quickly.

My nose is pointy. Family members crack on me all the time. They say they’ve never seen a black girl with a white girl nose…

Speaking of my pointy nose, there are pros and cons to that, too. A con is, when my nose runs, all the snot goes to the corner and hides out to dry after I wipe it. The advantage? No one can see the crust because the way my nose is set up the angle doesn’t allow them to.

As far as friends go, I was always in the presence of the popular crowd but never blended in too well. I did better with the international students; we all looked odd together.

I don’t know how to put on a full facial makeup. Actually, I’ve never worn a full facial makeup. I don’t drool when I sleep in the evening, just when I sleep during the day (scratching my head). Don’t ask.

I’m not really one to go out every night. The little weird things make me happy. For instance, right now I’m eating roasted chicken and peas and sitting at the computer, roasting myself.

This post may come across as peculiar, somewhat dry and very random. If it does, mission accomplished. That’s who I am…

Speaking of mission…

Am I complaining about all this? Nope! Just bragging about my “imperfections.” I figured there are enough people in the world boasting about their “strengths” and how amazing they look, so I thought I’d switch it up a little and boast about my “flaws.”

The post Speaking of…imperfections? appeared first on Linda Orji Creative Universe.

What I’ve learned for myself is that the world focuses so much on the idea of marriage, and how without marriage children aren’t stable, that it’s not healthy for them, and much more. The other day, I asked a co-worker to list three pros about her marriage of ten years that she is excited about — outside of her children — that would inspire a single woman like myself to get married. She couldn’t give me a straight answer. Initially, she said, “Don’t.” Then minutes and several stumbled words later, she said you get a friendship for life. So then, I went on to ask her, “So you need marriage for life friendship?” She said, “No, but it brings stability for the children.” Then I asked, “Is it the marriage that brings the stability or the relationship of the individuals raising the children?” She said, “It’s the marriage, and it’s hard to explain if you’re not married.” I said okay and left her alone because she began to get frustrated with my questions. It also made me wonder if she was married for reasons of which she may not have felt comfortable sharing with my ‘single’-minded brain. However, remember that initially she advised me NOT to get married.

Please understand, I am not against marriage. However, I do believe there is just too much pressure on people and marriage in this society. Unfortunately, or fortunately, I am not a girl with big Cinderella-wedding dreams. For now, I simply want a committed, honest best friend for life. We can make it legal when we are 90. By then we’ll be too busy changing bed pans and cleaning our dentures to worry about divorce. The way I see it, if both individuals know in their hearts that they want to get old and gray with each other, and it’s something they’ve prayed about — TOGETHER, what’s the rush? Hey, Tina Turner got married to her boyfriend of 27 years at age 75! And Oprah will probably do the same with Stedman — okay, maybe not…but they were both at Tina Turner’s wedding, looking happy as usual.

Overall, what I’m getting at here is YOU have POWER over the structure and stability in your life through your spirit, health, and well being. Focus less on the idea of something and what everyone else thinks — including your family. Focus more on what truly makes you happy. I mean, look at their faces in this picture, do you think they look like they care about what society thinks? Better yet, look at Tina’s wedding dress. Far from “traditional.”

[df_divider_text title=”More Reads Below” title_align=”separator_align_center” el_width=”100″ style=”solid” accent_color=”#EEEEEE” padding=”20px 0″ position=”align_center” el_class=”” border_t_width=”2px”]

Texas couple weds after 41 years of dating! And get this, her name is Linda! Love is love!

The post Marriage appeared first on Linda Orji Creative Universe.