Am I complaining about all this? Nope! Just bragging about my “imperfections.” I figured there are enough people in the world boasting about their “strengths” and how amazing they look, so I thought I’d switch it up a little and boast about my “flaws.”

My teeth alignment is crooked from when I sucked my thumb as a child. I had a complex when I smiled. At one point, I was contemplating getting Invisalign, but I figured I’d join J. Cole and keep my twisted grill, just to show the kids it’s real. I ain’t picture perfect, but I’m worth a picture still.

crooked-smile-lindaorji-soul-survivor-writer

I’m not a size 2 or 3, or 4, or 5; not even 6 or 7. I have dimples in my thighs and ass. I don’t have hair down to my back. It’s kinky; no such thing as a messy bun, messy Afro – maybe. I have bumps and scars on my arms and legs…

Speaking of legs, I had to wear leg braces as a child because my feet were so dramatically inward, aka, ‘pigeon toed.’ As a result, my strut in heels isn’t too appealing. Neither are my feet. I run a lot.

Speaking of feet, mine are pretty big-sized, 10 to be exact…

Speaking of big, my hands are big, too. The skin on my palms is very rough. I get embarrassed when I have to shake hands with someone…

Speaking of embarrassed, I sweat a lot, especially when I’m nervous. I get even more nervous when I have to calculate numbers quickly.

My nose is pointy. Family members crack on me all the time. They say they’ve never seen a black girl with a white girl nose…

Speaking of my pointy nose, there are pros and cons to that, too. A con is, when my nose runs, all the snot goes to the corner and hides out to dry after I wipe it. The advantage? No one can see the crust because the way my nose is set up the angle doesn’t allow them to.

As far as friends go, I was always in the presence of the popular crowd but never blended in too well. I did better with the international students; we all looked odd together.

I don’t know how to put on a full facial makeup. Actually, I’ve never worn a full facial makeup. I don’t drool when I sleep in the evening, just when I sleep during the day (scratching my head). Don’t ask.

I’m not really one to go out every night. The little weird things make me happy. For instance, right now I’m eating roasted chicken and peas and sitting at the computer, roasting myself.

This post may come across as peculiar, somewhat dry and very random. If it does, mission accomplished. That’s who I am…

Speaking of mission…

Am I complaining about all this? Nope! Just bragging about my “imperfections.” I figured there are enough people in the world boasting about their “strengths” and how amazing they look, so I thought I’d switch it up a little and boast about my “flaws.”

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